Homemade

Taking a back to basics approach to raising children, or life in general, can involve many different things. One of these things that I haven’t discussed on this blog yet is making things by hand at home: food, clothes, crafts, gardens, maybe even carpentry for the more skillful. Whatever it is, the basic premise behind it is taking care of basic needs by making the end product instead of buying it. As little as several decades ago in our own country (and currently in other cultures around the world) making things by hand was a necessity instead of a hobby. Today we have the luxury of stores and the internet to meet all of our material demands and so the passing down of skills to make products by hand has started to die out along with the value that homemade goods once had.

I feel like these days the word “homemade” sometimes gets a bad rap. It brings to mind art projects made by small children serving as Christmas gifts, ugly baby booties crocheted by an elderly relative, and gifted baked items that you think twice about before eating. There’s a sort of mentality attached that being homemade is somehow inferior to something that has been mass produced and store bought. For others, like me, the mention of the word ‘homemade’ conjures up a whole different set of images that are more associated with comfort, quality, and great care taken by those doing the making. I was raised by a mother who was (and still is) skilled at many crafts. When I was young she knit sweaters, hats, and mittens for my sister and me (which my children now have the benefit of wearing); she sewed clothes for us and smaller versions so that we could coordinate with our dolls; she was also known to weave baskets, stencil, and needle point back then. She also made many of our common food staples from scratch on a regular basis: bread, soups, jams and other canned items, snacks, desserts, and of course all of our meals. I have aunts and a great aunt who are also very talented at these and other skills. They are all wonderful role models of what homemade really means. And I am so jealous of the talents they possess and so I am in the process of slowly trying to increase my own abilities in these areas.

I know, taking a more ‘homemade’ approach sounds silly, right? Why would anyone in this modern era with malls and Amazon at their immediate disposal want to take the time to make something they didn’t have to? Well, it’s certainly not for everyone, but there are several reasons why being a little more ‘homemade’ has its benefits.

For one, as a modern industrialized society we are quickly losing the basic skills of survival and creativity that our culture was built on. How many women in their thirties and younger know how to knit and sew or bake from scratch? How many men in the same age group know how to do any type of carpentry or fix their own car? How many people know how to grow a vegetable garden? To the younger generations, these skills seem like a tradition lost to the ages and unnecessary since we can buy everything we need. But, there is a sense of pride and accomplishment, of being self-sufficient, that comes with being able to create something with one’s own two hands; a feeling that can’t be recreated by watching TV or playing a video game. Our kids and teens these days won’t develop an appreciation for making things by hand and they can’t learn these age old skills to do it themselves unless someone takes the time to teach them. The passing down of this knowledge now falls on the responsibility of family members as programs like home economics and shop class are being deleted from schools at a rapid rate. My mother took a lot of pride in the things she made for us and to this day I treasure the items I still have. My daughter is now benefitting from the adorable wool sweaters and doll clothes that I once used. Although my mother taught me many of these skills along the way, I didn’t have much use for them before and now I find myself with a renewed interest, not only so that I can make things for my family, but also so that I can pass these skills on to my own children some day. It also feels really good to create a finished product with my own two hands that can be enjoyed by others, whether that be homemade bread, soup from scratch, homegrown vegetables, or clothes for my kids.

I think that as a modern culture our country has lost its value for things made by hand because of the disconnect between the product and the creator. We want everything cheap and quickly and don’t think twice about where it is made or who makes it – I am guilty of this as well! Another benefit of teaching kids the skills to create on their own is that it provides children with an understanding of how things are made and where they come from. When they do it themselves or a part of the process they learn to value the product for the time and hard work that went into making it. This sense of value then projects to things that other’s have made by hand. It also translates the old adage of “a job worth doing is worth doing well” in real terms when the product being made is for oneself or a gift for someone else, and ultimately promotes a good work ethic.

Learning a new skill or craft is also good for the old attention span without the distraction of entertainment technology - something that kids today could do with a little more of. When the project being worked on has an end product with some meaning (food to eat, a gift, pride for one’s accomplishment, anything….) then there is motivation to complete the task. When there is motivation to stick with something to get the end product then the time spent focusing one’s attention is increased. Kids today have attention spans far shorter than those of their parents when they were kids, and this has a lot to do with the high-speed technology that kids today spend so much time engaged with. But turning the TV or the computer off and engaging in activities that sustain active brain power on one thing for a while helps to improve the attention span – but only if this happens on a regular basis! If the activity also involves physical action (like gardening or building) then it’s a great way to get the body moving; even baking bread and kneading dough involves more movement than lying on the couch watching TV (and actually is a good activity for young kids to do because it builds strength in the hands and arms, which is needed for handwriting, and gives them a good sensory experience).

Engaging in the process of making or fixing something also requires and promotes the development of creative problem solving – a skill that does not get the chance to develop when kids spend too much of their time involved with entertainment technology that does all the thinking for them. Creative problem solving is really a very important skill, not only for excelling in academics and occupations, but also for everyday life.

And another great thing about teaching your children how to make things by hand is that it gets the whole family involved in homemade projects and promotes time spent together, talking, laughing, and making memories without the TV on. It forces you to slow down and enjoy each other’s company. And in the end you have something to show for your efforts and to be proud of!

Well, there you have it – a few reasons to get creative at home and involve the kids.

Reflections on my own attempts at balancing technology

Looking back, I think I have always approached raising my children in a low-tech manner, trying to re-create the comfort of how I was raised, even since the birth of my first born in 2007. It’s just that this past year I actually put a name to it when I realized that my philosophy isn’t exactly in sync with the rest of the modern culture. It wasn’t entirely obvious at first because many of my friends feel the same way and automatically raise their children based on this simple philosophy. But the more encounters I have with the rest of the population, the more daycare and educational programs I come across, and the more I read about the current state of our youth growing up addicted to high-speed technology, the more I see that the masses have given in to convenience, excess, and instant gratification and unfortunately it has become the rule, not the exception. Apparently my philosophies are the exception and I find myself giving explanations, excuses even, for why my children watch very little TV (in fact no TV at all up until recently, but more on that later) because it seems like such a shock to many parents.

Really, my main agenda, when it comes to how technology is used by my children, is creating a balance where it is used in moderation so as to give them experience without it ruling their lives. So far, I feel like I have found a good balance. Up until recently we had the TV off when the kids were awake, mostly because my son was too young to watch it and my daughter had shown some very undesirable behavior problems when the TV had been a regular habit. Having the TV off actually worked incredibly well for us and, after a brief transition, my children didn’t even miss it. We even downgraded our cable package because we weren’t using most channels. We added DVR, which has been very useful because my husband and I can watch our own programs when it’s convenient for us and we can now control what our daughter watches during her screen time and not just have to play what is on at that time. Which leads me to the recent changes we have made in our screen time policy.

This November my three year old daughter dropped her nap and ever since has been watching an hour of TV a day in the afternoon while my 21 month old son is napping (he only sneaks in a few minutes of TV if he wakes up and my daughter is just finishing her show). I have to admit that part of the decision to put the TV back on for my daughter was based on me being able to have some time to get things done without her underfoot all afternoon, but I also didn’t think it necessary to continue to completely deprive her of screen time. The routine, so far, is that for the first hour while her brother is sleeping we read for a little while and then she plays alone or hangs out with me while I do some things around the house. In the second hour she may watch an hour of sesame street (which I DVR – a piece of technology that certainly has come in handy) or something else I’ve deemed appropriate for her, but ONLY if she has had good behavior during the day. She has to EARN her one hour of screen time. But it is one hour only and then she may has her afternoon snack when the show is over. She is not allowed to eat while watching the show and my reasons for that have to do with the fact that she would want more food once the show was over anyway (the eating thing is a whole other story). There has been some behavior associated with bringing the TV back into her life. She has her moments where she whines for more, but as time goes on and I stick to this rule of only 1 hour of TV I get less and less of the whining. It’s only when I have allowed her to watch more (like when I thought I was giving her a special treat of watching short children’s Christmas movies back to back over the holidays) that she starts all over again with her attempts to keep the TV going. I can see how the addiction starts so easily! But this reorganization of TV use seems to be going fine for everyone, as long as I stick to the 1 hour rule, and it is actually a really great tool for motivating my daughter to have good behavior!

So, although the balance for my children is under control, my biggest problem in this technology tug of war is myself! I do not reject technology for everyone (mostly just for my kids at this point in their lives) and I even use many forms of technology everyday myself.  The problem is that lately I have not been applying the same principles of moderation to myself when it comes to my phone and my computer.  I have to find a way to ‘unplug’ more often; I think it will help me to feel more balanced in my own life and possibly give me more time in my day. My iphone is most frequently the culprit. It is just too easy to pick up and check my email, facebook, the weather report, a website…. Far too often I find myself telling my kids “just a minute, I have to finish this email first” when they are requesting my attention (which makes me feel horrible, yet I still finish the email). Does this sound familiar to anyone?
I try to do most of my computer work at night or when my daughter is watching her 1 hour of TV and my son is sleeping, but somehow I never get everything accomplished because EVERYTHING seems to require a computer these days: communication with friends and colleagues, shopping, paying bills, getting information/directions, organizing photos, and not to mention paperwork for my job. Many of these computer tasks are unavoidable, and like I said, can be accomplished when my kids are asleep. It’s the iphone dependency that is unnecessary and which I really need to break. I even find myself wanting to check it while sitting at stop lights (which, by the way, is now illegal in Georgia). It’s like my brain constantly needs entertainment. I can’t just be alone with my thoughts or enjoy the radio – I need multiple forms of stimuli feeding my brain in order to feel fulfilled. If I have evolved into an iphone addict so easily, then it worries me that my children could very easily get sucked into the obsessive world of technology too, before they’ve had a chance to fully develop all of their developmental and intellectual skills naturally. And, of course I am my children’s most influential role model at this point, so I know that I need to set a good example for them. If I don't teach them how to use technology in a responsible way and in moderation, then who will?

It’s not going to be easy, but I am officially going to try to break my iphone addiction by checking it less frequently, keeping it zipped up in my purse while driving, and keeping it out of close proximity so as not to be tempted to use it when I am engaged with my children – in fact, it will probably promote more quality interactions with my children because I won’t be so distracted. I’ll keep you posted on how this new transition progresses!

It's a New Year - Back to the blog!

Happy New Year! If you’ve read my blog before, then welcome back and I apologize for the lack of posts over the last couple of months. Over the holidays updating the blog fell down to the lower part of my priority list right along with painting my toe nails (and I still haven’t had time to get to that). But I’m back with a renewed motivation for posting (and also a 4 hour car ride back to Atlanta). So I’m starting this year off with a couple of posts that are a little more personalized; more my thoughts and reflections than information sharing. If you are new to this blog (or need a refresher), then here’s a summary on what it’s about (or you can just read the first entry from 2010). The title of the blog says a lot, it’s about raising children with a back to basics philosophy: playing outside, getting dirty, using all of the body’s senses (not just the ones required for watching TV), cooking, helping with chores, making forts, having tea parties….. and all in the most authentic, organic sense, not in a virtual reality. This blog is for parents who have a vested interest in the type of quality experiences that their children have on a daily basis, knowing that these are formative years and what happens in childhood sets the tone for future skills, acquired intelligence, relationships, morals and values.

I do not claim to be an expert on anything; instead I am one of these parents who is holding fast to my cherished memories from my childhood spent playing in the woods and in tide pools, playing dolls and restaurant, riding bikes and making up games, and wanting so badly for my children to take pleasure in the same without whining for TV and video games instead. But I am also a professional in the field of child development and a former teacher, so it is important for me to make sure that not only are my children engaging in activities that enhance their development (not hinder it), but that I share the same beneficial knowledge of child development that I live and work by with the children and families I work with and other interested parents. This blog aims to help other parents balance the ever expanding selection of technology-based toys and entertainment with good, old fashioned creative play (no batteries or directions allowed) in order to provide our children with a well-rounded childhood that encourages the development of:
motor skills (for coordination, playing sports and instruments or basically just not ending up like Gumby)
cognitive skills (for learning to read, write, and acquiring the knowledge to succeed in school and oh, I don’t know, life I guess)
creative thinking skills (for, well let’s face it, being able to be an original person with original ideas, to problem solve, to create, to have an imagination, to be innovative, to “think outside the box” – a handy skill if one wants to excel at their chosen profession, no matter what the field)
social skills (for having successful and rewarding relationships with people – not computers or phones; for understanding social cues, problem solving, being able to feel empathy and sympathy, developing good character traits….the list goes on and cannot be taught by TV or the computer, but certainly can be negatively influenced by them)
language skills (for speaking, writing, and conversing without the use of abbreviations and acronyms – OMG lol)
and last, but not least attention span (for being able to keep one’s brain actively zoned into an activity long enough to complete it or get something out of it, oh like homework maybe)

However, in no way are these blog posts only limited to topics concerned with technology (or trying to avoid it). I’m interested in the bigger picture. Future posts will involve topics that relate to a variety of aspects of life that have an impact on child development and the development of the culture that we create called family (nutrition, teaching values, family traditions, etc).

The balancing act of blending modern culture with an old school philosophy is certainly a lifestyle choice that is far from all or nothing. My blog is meant to be a resource to help parents make some of these lifestyle choices that are right for their families; and in the process, hopefully finding an equilibrium they feel content with. I usually present research-based information in my posts that support this ideology of a back to basic approach to raising kids, offer some points for reflection, and end with ideas for ways to make it happen (ie. activities to do at home). I also try to use my life experiences to show the reality of this as I am in the throes of working parenthood with two toddlers, two dogs, and a husband all buckled in for this interesting ride (sorry for the car metaphor, but it’s what came to mind as I’m still in one, only about half way home now).
I appreciate comments because I like to learn from other parents too (and I don’t like being the only one doing all the talking), but if you’re just reading these posts, taking from them what you like and using that to help you, then I have done my job.

That’s about it. If you enjoy what I have to say, please share my blog with others!