Here are some easy steps to help you find a balance between the use of technology in your childrens' lives and creating opportunities for simple, natural, active, childhood play that they need for optimal development.
If your child is a baby: Just don't even start with the TV habit. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends waiting until the age of at least 2 before introducing TV (and this includes baby videos) because it can have a detrimental impact on the developing brains of babies. Your child won't crave what never becomes a part of their daily routine and you will be saving yourself a lot of trouble by waiting until he or she is 2 or 3 (or even later) to introduce TV - and even then, do it in moderation.
If your child is over the age of 2: If your child still doesn't watch TV and you like it this way, then keep holding off on it - why not? Children don't need TV anyway. But when you do decide to introduce it, think about how you want to manage the situation first so you can avoid letting it get out of hand in the future. I have found that the best way to control the TV situation is by treating TV as a reward or something used for special occasions. Or, if the TV becomes a daily habit in your house, then it is easier to manage your child's exposure by creating a TV routine, such as the TV is only on for 30 minutes after naptime. Pick a time of day and a length of time that the TV will be on and then make sure you stick to this routine. Also, let your children know why it's important to limit TV and do other things instead.
If TV has already become an out of control issue with your child/children (at any age): There are things you can do to get the situation back under control and reduce the use of TV (or other technologies, like video games, the computer, or phone). I suggest going cold turkey as opposed to trying to slowly cut back. Like ripping a band-aid off, just get it over with so everyone can go through the adjustment period and move on. The initial transition period will be rough, and the amount of difficulty probably correlates with the age of your children, the amount of time they were spending each day using these technologies, and how unrestricted the kids had been in their use. Before you initiate this transition, decide how you want to manage the use of TV, video games, the computer, and even texting on cell phones by your children first and then STICK TO IT! If you don't, your children will pick up on your inconcistencies like pirahnas at a pool party and totally take advantage! As I mentioned above, I recommend managing the use of technologies as entertainment by using them as rewards or in the context of a predetermined and consistent routine. Here are some examples:
As a reward:
Earn a 30 minutes TV show or a full length movie on Fridays for good behavior 4 out of 5 days (Mon-Fri). The standards for behavior or conditions for getting the reward can vary in any number of ways.
Earn 30 minutes of video games, a TV show, or computer time each day after all homework is done and child has had an hour of active play.
As a routine:
Younger child: 30 minutes of TV each day from 4:00-4:30. Can be taken away for bad behaviors.
Older child: 30 or 60 minutes of TV, video games, computer, or phone time each day (or 30 min of TV and 30 min of computer/video games) after all homework is finished and after child has had 1 hour of active play/non-technology time
So figure out a routine or game plan for controlling when and how much TV is watched or video games are played, communicate it to your children repeatedly, and stick to it. I promise that they will eventually figure out that you're serious, when you don't give in, and they will adjust to this new way of life. Plus, you will be substituting their TV/video game entertainment with new, fun activities that they will eventually come to enjoy and engage in automatically. See below for suggestions. Also, TV and video games are expensive when you add up the cable bill, cost of the gaming console, games, movies, etc. A number of the activities below are free or inexpensive; they are a good way to cut back in these economically challenging times and a good way to really connect with your kids.
Click here for more information from Cris Rowan on strategies for "Unplugging" your child from technology.
What to do instead of watching TV or playing video games:
Many of these activities are things that children can do independently once they are old enough or have had the activity modeled for them once or twice. This will allow you to get some things done around the house while they play, instead of setting them in front of the TV. But remember that your children really love playing with you - so make efforts to spend time doing some of these activities with your children, even as they get older.
* Read with/to your child; allow them access to their books at home
* Visit the local library to check out new books (instead of buying new ones) and books on CD, play with puzzles and games, listen to story time, and participate in other child programs the library may offer
* Play in your backyard or at local parks - meet friends there for a playdate
* Paint, or make a craft or art project - there are hundreds of websites with free information and printables for kid crafts
* Allow your children access to toys that they can play with safely and independently and put away all toys that they need supervision with - this gives them the opportunity to learn to play on their own for short periods of time
* Create forts, kitchens, club houses, etc. with household furniture, large boxes, empty (and clean) food containers and pots and pans
* Put on music for a dance party (my kids do this almost every day)
* Plan outings to local museums, children's play centers, nature centers, the zoo or animal reserve; do outings with friends who have children too
* Start a regular playgroup with friends/neighbors or join a local playgroup - there are local mother's groups all over the country and most can be searched for on the internet
* Enroll your children in enrichment programs: music class, art class, sports programs, dance, gymnastics, etc
* Go for walks; exercise together
* Ride bikes
* Play with play-doh
* Put on puppet shows, plays, and other performances; help your children act out their favorite books
* Include your children in everyday activities like, cooking meals, doing laundry, cleaning, yard work, taking care of pets, etc - most little children love to help mom and dad and for older children, these are good ways to earn an allowance or (gasp) TV time
* Teach your kids how to play with their toys - if they've been watching TV all this time or are still very young, then they may not have the creativity or understanding of how to play with their toys and may need you to model how to play; then they'll start doing it on their own without you, thus allowing you to do get stuff done (except this time their not watching TV while you're trying to get things done). Kids will become frustrated with or ignore toys that they do not know how to play with - it doesn't mean they won't ever like the toy, it just means they need a little help to get started
- teach them how to play with: dolls, dressup clothes, trucks, kitchen, tea party, puzzles, blocks, Legos, trains, cars, water toys, sand toys, bubbles, bikes, sports equipment, games, etc
- kids also typically need help with learning how to play with new toys or games
* Buy or make musical instruments for your kids to play with - there are ideas for making musical instruments out of things like, paper towel rolls
* Search the internet for ideas - there are hundreds of websites with the free information on activities, crafts, and projects to do with your children at any age
* Search the internet for a list of free and cheap places to take children around where you live - Macaroni Kid is a great website and has local websites for cities all over the country
* There are endless posibilities of things to do with your kids instead of watching TV, playing video games, or playing on the computer - be creative and talk to other moms to get more ideas
What to do instead of TV/video games when you need your child to behave:
First of all, teaching your child to behave in certain, especially public, situations without the use of technology to entertain them is important. It's an important social skill that they do need to learn and parents are the ones who are responsible for teaching it. There are plenty of alternatives for helping your child behave in public and with consistency and good modeling from parents, children will learn to have good manners and to behave appropriately. Try using interactive activities that keep them engaged longer:
* Books: books with flaps, music, pop-ups, textures for younger children; age appropriate books for children who can read; coloring books, sticker books, work books, puzzle/maze/word game books for kids old enough to use them
* Magna-doodle, paper and crayons
* Magnetic games (travel-size/car game), so that you don't lose pieces
* Play with stuffed animals, dolls, cars, plastic animals, and other small toys (when kids learn how to use their imagination, they can play for long periods of time with these types of toys)
* Puzzle type games for older kids to solve - either word games or manipulative games (like rubix cube)
* Use behavior incentive strategies to help your children earn rewards for good behavior and remind them of this when they are out in public - teach them how to practice good behavior by modeling it for them first!
* Paper and crayons
* Give them jobs to do to keep them busy (i.e. carry the bag, help you get groceries, reorganize your wallet (a good job for an older girl), pass out napkins at dinner, etc. - be creative
What to do instead of TV/video games in the car:
* Listen to music: kids music, classical music, introduce them to your favorite (appropriate) music
* Listen to kids books on CD (books on CD can be bought for cheap on Amazon or you can also download audio books from itunes)
* Play I Spy or Car Bingo
* Have a stash of toys, coloring books, books, magna-doodles, etc. in the car for the kids to play with
* Talk to your kids or sing songs
* For older kids, make sure they bring along the current book they're reading; have puzzle books, workbooks, and car games in the car to keep them busy
* Check out Walmart and Target for magnetic travel size games and puzzles to play in the car
* Go online and search "games to play in the car" to find lots of other ideas
What to do instead of watching TV at meal times:
Turn the TV off when you're eating!!! There is research to support that eating meals as a family, without the TV on, can have huge benefits! It brings family members closer and nurtures positive relationships; it's a time to talk to each other and show your children you care about them; it's a good time to model manners and problem solve with your children; it can expand your children's food likes; it can decrease negative behaviors in children (drug use, smoking, and sexual behavior); it can improve your children's academic success; it saves money.
Also, there is a correlation between eating with the TV on and childhood obesity. Kids (and adults for that matter) tend to eat more while they are watching TV. If you have a child who is a picky eater or has other feeding problems, do not use the TV as a way to distract the child to get him or her to eat - contact your child's pediatrician and get a referral to an occupational therapist or speech therapist for a feeding consultation. It is better to have the help of a professional to work out these feeding issues as early as possible.
If you must....
If you're reluctant to totally get rid of the video games, hand held video games, and television that's fine - just make good decisions about it.
* Remember that the AAP recommends no more than 2 hours a day of combined technologies - that means the TOTAL hours of all TV, movies, video games, and computer time combined - for children over the age of 2. So set your time limits accordingly to stay within 2 hours. The brain actually shuts down and goes from an active mode to a passive mode after 20 minutes of watching TV, so it's a good idea to limit technology exposure to only 20 minutes at a time.
* Choose wisely.
- If you're going to have a video game console at home, then buy a Wii and buy Wii Fit accessories and games or buy other games that involve a lot of movement. Stay away from games with violence or sedentary games.
- Pay attention to age level recommendations and warnings for games.
- If you're going to give your children hand held video game devices, then look for educational ones, like Leap Frog or Leapster, and continue to impose your limits on using them.
- When deciding which TV programs and movies your children are going to watch, check out the programs first. Watch an episode or two without the kids, look up information and reviews on the internet, talk to other parents, check out the recommended age for viewing or warnings, etc. It is important to make sure that the content of the programs they are viewing are consistent with the morals, values, and information that you feel are important for them to learn. Sesame Street is one of the only children shows that actually does research to ensure that its content is actually making an educational impact on children.
Avoid shows and movies with violence and sexual content, even for older children, especially until they are of an age where they have the cognitive skills to distinguish fiction from reality and right from wrong. It is ok to restrict your children and adolescents from watching TV programs and movies that you feel are unsuitable, even if your kids' friends are watching them; really, it is! My sister and I were not allowed to watch The Simpsons or MTV when we were growing up and we survived; we were not shunned by friends because we didn't watch these shows and I don't remember feeling an emptiness in my childhood because I missed out on Simpson episodes. As an adult I can appreciate why my parents chose to impose those restrictions and am thankful that they cared that much about protecting our innocense.
* If you're going to give your children your iphone to play apps on, choose age appropriate, educational games or childrens books on itunes and continue to limit the amount of time they spend playing on it to around 10 minutes. However, unless you have an insurance plan on your phone that covers accidents and damages, I wouldn't recommend letting a child play with your iphone.
* If you have a DVD player in the car, you don't have to use it every time you ride in the car. Try reserving it only for long car trips, so then it becomes a special treat. Even then, play only 1 show or 1 movie. The more movies you show in the car, the more the kids will come to depend on it and will kick and scream to get a movie put on. If you limit it, stay consistent with the limits, and provide the kids with other things to do in the car (besides hand held video games), then they will get used to this and not put up such a fight for the movies. I promise it can be done - we managed to drive with our 2 year old and 1 year old for 7 hours without ever putting on a movie (and we have a DVD player in our car).
* Don't expose your kids to the shows that you watch. Wait until your kids are sleeping to turn on the TV for your own entertainment. Better yet, if you have TiVo or a VCR, then record shows you usually watch during the day and wait to watch them when your children are asleep.
** I really encourage other parents (with kids of all ages) to post comments with your own ideas and experiences with cutting out technology and activities that you do with your children instead; especially parents of adolescents and teenagers!**
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